Thankful Thursday... The Courage to Make a Change

Most times, the hardest thing in life is making a change. Even when the situation you find yourself in is no good whatsoever, changing it takes a whole lot of courage. And it's just plain scary sometimes. We get comfortable. Even when life is full of misery, pain and chaos, the alternative is sometimes hard to see. And much harder to reach for.

I was reminded this morning of how fortunate I am to have changed what was once wrong with my life. With the help of friends, I was finally able to walk away from all of the darkness I was sinking in and step back into the light of day. Changing my situation, turning away from it, letting it go, even with all the support I had from numerous sources, was horribly difficult and extremely scary. I'm just thankful today for finally realizing that I was worth enough to deserve more than a life of turmoil. That I was valuable enough for happiness, laughter, love. And for collecting enough courage from those around me, and from right inside of myself, to change my life so very much for the better.

Mom's Cinnamon Snackerdoodles

My Dad used to love pie. Almost every weekend, summer or winter, my Mom would bake my dad some kind of fruit pie. And I have to be honest, I'm really not a huge pie fan. I like a few choice pies, but the only fruit pie I really enjoy is a strawberry-rhubarb pie. My dad... not so much. So, to satisfy my sweet tooth, my mom always made extra pie crust and used it to make me these really awesome cinnamon roll things. Today I'm officially naming them Cinnamon Snackerdoodles. And, in honor of my Mom, I'm going to show you how to make this yummy treat.

First of all, they're super easy, so if you like cinnamon and sugar, you should really give them a try! Second of all, they only use pie crust (shortening, flour and water), butter, cinnamon and sugar. All ingredients you probably already have in your pantry.

If you've never made a pie crust from scratch, I urge you to do it now. A lot of people don't, but it's really easy and tastes excellent. All you need is 1 cup of flour, 1/4 teaspoon of salt, 1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon shortening and 2-3 tablespoons of water. Because my Mom always did it this way, I always measure my shortening by the  tablespoon. Add that to the salt and flour mixture. Cut it in with a pastry blender if you have one (just because I think they're super fun to use!), or just use a fork, until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Then sprinkle with cold water one tablespoon at a time and mix, until all the flour is moistened and almost cleaning the side of the bowl. See how easy that was? Now you've made your own pie crust. :)

Flour your rolling surface. Form your dough into a ball and then into a flattened round on your rolling surface. Then roll away! The best part of this snack is that it doesn't really matter so much what kind of shape the dough is rolled into. If you have kids, let them do it. They'll love using the rolling pin! :)
Once the dough is rolled, butter it up! I just use a knife and spread butter all over the rolled surface. Then sprinkle with lots and lots of cinnnamon sugar.

The next step is to cut a little more butter right over the cinnamon and sugar mixture so the dough will stay together when rolled. And, well, a little more butter on these isn't really gonna hurt anything. :)

Now, roll the dough into a log, pinch the ends together, and cut the log into bite sized pieces. In memory of my mom, I'm baking them in a tin pie plate, because that's always what she baked them in. Make sure to spray with a little cooking spray so they won't stick. Pop those babies into the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes (a little longer if you want them less doughy than me) and, voila, you're done! Let them cool a bit, pop one into your mouth and enjoy!

Next time you make a pie, or just want a quick little sweet snack, give these goodies a try. Hope you enjoy! :)

Thankful Thursday... A Messy House and a Full Life

I'm sitting here having a cup of coffee before work, looking at my house and all the clutter I can see. From my perch on the couch, I can see a small pile of barbies and cars that didn't quite get put away, two piles of craft projects I'm working on, swimming suits I got out of the garage, washed and didn't get put away yet because the kids and I need to clean out their dressers to make room, a group of paint cans that I've been using sitting on the dining room table, a pile of toys I plan on donating. I could go on, but this is getting a little embarassing...

And, let's face it, it's also a little depressing. I used to be the kind of person who liked to have everything in its proper place. Neat and Tidy were my two closest friends. But then something happened... I had kids. Then something else happened... I got friends. Then I went and got in a relationship. And he and I started On A Whim, our second job, if you will. I started this blog. Yada, yada, yada....

So, I say I "used to" like everything nicely organized and neatly put away. But who am I kidding? In a perfect world, I'd still love that! Alas, I do not live in a perfect world. Organization dumped me for someone else (or was it the other way around?) and Tidy, I guess we just lost touch. I met and became friends with Lack of Time (otherwise known as Busy, Involved, or just "Mom," for short) and Clutter. We just seemed to hit it off famously! :)

I try to keep in contact with my old friends. They even come by for a brief visit now and again. Then I can look around and feel satisfaction in my fairly tidy house. But that doesn't last long, usually not even for an entire day! And I'm back to where I am right now, looking at the mess in front of me. And, I must admit, it sometimes gets my spirits down...

But then I think about the reasons why I'm looking at clutter, at little piles of stuff. And it's because I have a lot going on. I have two beautiful, happy kids and a busy, productive life. And I think I can live with that. In a way, I'm thankful for my messy house, because it's a part of my full life and all the things that make living more satisfying, more creative, and just plain happier! And that beats just existing anyday. :)

Love is All You Need

I was on the phone with someone yesterday. She's a business colleague and a friend on facebook. So she knows a little about what's going on in my life, even though we aren't what you'd call traditional friends. We talked a bit about a job she needed done and then she asked how everything is going. I sorta laughed because, well, 'things' are not exactly going great lately. But then she said (and I'm paraphrasing), "it sounds like you have a great boyfriend. And everything is always better when you have someone to lean on." She is, of course, exactly right. It wasn't one of those lightbulb moments for me. I already knew the truth of that statement. But it hit me just how much I really do lean on Eric. (And not because I'm off-balance either, so no wisecracks!)

There are certain people in life that you just completely connect with. I've been lucky enough to know a few of those people in my lifetime. And I've found someone now who knows me so well, it scares me just a bit, even as it thrills me...

It's a little on the side of amazing when someone really "gets" you, and I mean the inside-out kind of "gets" you. What you're about and who you are inside, regardless of the show you put on for everyone. Someone who can look at you, or hear your voice, and know what you're really thinking, no matter what words are coming out of your mouth. It can, sometimes, be a little annoying actually. I mean, what if I want to keep a thing or two to myself, huh? :) Sometimes it's startling, too. Shouldn't it take years and years for someone to know you that well, not just a few short months? What kind of wacky-soulmate stuff is going on here anyway? :)

But, all jokes aside, it's so much more than that... it's dazzling and amazing; cozy as a nap in the sunshine on a lazy day; comforting when you need relief. There's nothing better, at least for me, that having two arms to hold me together when I feel like everything is falling apart at my feet. When I feel like I'm about to crumble into a million pieces. And the best part is that I don't need to ask. I don't need to do a thing, because he already knows. I can sometimes hardly believe how well he knows just what I need, exactly when I need it.

The truth is, Eric knew I needed him and the love he was offering me way before I did. I was the stubborn one. I didn't want to feel like I "needed" someone. But I sure did! And I eventually had to admit it. :) I couldn't be happier that I finally did. I'm not sure now what the whole point in being stubborn was at all. I can't remember my reasoning for it. Well, I suppose I can remember, but it just doesn't matter anymore. The things that happened in the past simply melted away and aren't significant in the face of the love I'm part of now. That is, perhaps, the most beautiful aspect of this whole thing...

Love can lift you out of the hole you've fallen into. Then it fills that hole right in, so you won't go and fall in it again! Whatever happened, whatever grief you've lived through or ugliness you've left behind, whatever issues you're dealing with in the here-and-now, if you have real love, you really do have all you need. Just make sure you let it in when it's standing in front of you :)

Friday SHEnanigans (with kids in tow)

***Disclaimer: no children were harmed during the making of this blog post.***

Sometimes the simple matter of picking up an auction item turns into a regular, full-blown fiasco. Let me just start out by saying that with my recent car troubles, and the small size of the old girl in the first place, there was no way I was going to be able to pick up two 84" long louvred doors with my own car. In comes Sarah, the recruit for the job. Recruited because of her van, but the company wasn't so bad either. :)

We picked up a couple of old chairs... piece of cake. 2 pieces of vintage luggage... easy-peasy. Now, on to get the louvred doors.

Before I move on with the story, did I happen to mention that we had all 4 of our children in tow? If you are parents of young children, you understand that having 4 children in 1 vehicle for a road trip, short though it may be, can be adventure enough. If you do not have/have not had young children, well, let me just say, you really have no idea the fun that can be had! Now, back to the story...

We arrived at the auction house, I paid for the item, I waited in a semi-long line, and then I walked back to the van to await my new, used doors. I will say, I had it all worked out in my head. I had looked at the dimensions of the door. All was good. They would most certainly slide right under the seats in Sarah's van. No problem. No sweat. With the week I've had, I really should have known better!

Out come the doors. On a forklift. Hmmm, I'm thinking... they sure do look bigger than I thought. This may not be good. The young man took them off the forklift. I asked if they were heavy and he said they weren't. Well that's good, I thought. So we proceeded to slide them under the back seat. Yes. This was going to work out after all. Until, clunk! They were hitting something. Upon examination, they were hitting the middle seats. Oops... too wide. The monsterous auction doors were not going to fit after all. :(
Well, I'd be darned if they weren't gonna fit! Poor Sarah drove all the way out there to help me out and she'd be darned if they weren't gonna fit either! We rearranged some booster seats, the guy slid those puppies up over the seats (after numerous threats at children to sit down or get clunked in the head with said doors!), tilted them over a couple children's heads, and we made it work, gosh darn it!

Now, little Holly felt sure she was gonna get hit in the head with the doors. But, let me assure you, she had a good inch and a half clearance above her head. No worries. My own little man, Chris, who cannot sit still to save his life, did indeed clunk his head. If you know him at all, you know this head-clunking thing is an everyday happening with him. So no need to be alarmed. Hannah fretted about the doors falling on her sister. Of course, she's only 6 and doesn't know how expertly we had tilted them and secured them in the van. Keara, well she pinched her finger in between hers and her brother's car seat, which we scooted right next to hers in order to fit the doors in. But, hey, that kinda thing could've happened at anytime. It certainly cannot be blamed on the doors...

We are home now. We've eaten dinner. We're all good. I'm sure Sarah and her family are safe and sound at their house, too. And I have the doors tucked safely away in my garage. So, even though it was a regular "adventure," as Sarah so nicely put it, we all arrived home with only minor injuries to a few parties involved. And, most importantly, the mission to retrieve 2 louvred doors for repurposing was completely and utterly accomplished!

Thankful Thursday... A full heart

I almost forgot this was Thursday, let alone Thankful Thursday. This has truly been quite a week. And that's putting it mildly. I have officially decided that May is NOT my month! Next year, I say we skip May entirely. That way, maybe I'll avoid a repeat of this year's headaches. And, heck, since my Birthday is in May, I guess won't technically get any older either! :)

Well, even though things have not been going so well, I have much to be thankful for. First and foremost, because it will be such a help to my daughter and everyone around her somewhat cranky disposition, the doctor has prescribed a different medication for her today. I am hoping and crossing my fingers and throwing salt over my shoulder or whatever else that might possibly help, that this works and clears up her problem. Please, please, oh please let this work! :)

But, today, more than thankful, I think I'm grateful. I'm so appreciative of the support I've gotten this week, and really much longer than this week, from so many sources and in so many different forms. I think maybe it will be beneficial for me to list for you some of the help I've gotten, so you can understand how truly blessed I am...

I've had a friend drive to my house and check my mail for me so she could deposit a check if it had arrived. I've had an unnamed person pay a craft show entry fee for me this week so the business could have our first booth at the Riverwalk Festival. My friend gave me 2 dozen farm fresh eggs and a bag of rhubarb for making my favorite kind of pie. Another friend has offered to look at my car this weekend to find out if it is indeed my head gasket that needs to be replaced. I have another friend who will help me with parts if I need them. Yet another friend even offered to give me an older car that he was going to sell for a modest sum! My friend, who already does enough by babysitting my kids, is taking my son to the doctor today and picking up my daughter's prescription so I won't have to miss work. Another friend offered me $20 to help me out with gas since I didn't receive the check I was supposed to get yesterday, and she doesn't exactly have a lot of extra herself. My son's Aunt paid for his preschool tuition this month because I just couldn't afford it. My wonderful boyfriend, who has really done more than I can list here, not only baked me a cake yesterday for my birthday and decorated it in my favorite colors (because he is so wonderful), he also sat with me for what was probably an hour while I had a minor nervous breakdown and literally sobbed in his ear! Then he made me dinner and made me smile and laugh again. :) My little 6-year old Keara called me and sang Happy birthday to me from her Nana's house. On top of all of these things, I got so many beautiful birthday wishes yesterday I lost count.

I'm sure I'm missing something on my list. But I think you get the idea. I am truly blessed with kindness. Reading this list, you're probably thinking I sound like a charity case. I know I sure feel like one lately. And it's no easy thing to write on here for the world to see how incredibly down on my luck I am lately. The truth is, I have been feeling like a complete loser. But I wanted you all to understand how wonderful everyone has been to me. And, as another friend told me this morning, I am not a loser, just someone who needs some help right now. I suppose we've all been there in one way or another.

The truth is, it makes me feel better to know that people are generally good and kind, and I thought maybe it would make you feel good, too. Sometimes it's all too easy to look at the world in a sour light. To see the bad parts of people and situations and forget about all the good that is out there. But, man, there really is so much good in people! I honestly have some of the best people in my life right now. And I couldn't be more grateful for all of them. Even if it's just lending me a shoulder to lean on or an uplifting word, they truly are the kind of people who make tough times more bearable. The kind of people who make my heart feel full, even in the midst of difficulties...